Grief Anger

The loss of a loved one is stressful for anyone and can cause much anger. But grief anger is not limited to the loss of a loved one. It could be where an architect has built a building and the building collapses. Or a ship's captain whose ship sinks and he has to live with the grief. There may be various situations which cause it but the end result is the same. A person gets angry with themselves or with others as a result of the grief. Grief is a very strong emotion, and unlike others there is little one can do about the feeling itself. The anger can be held in check.

It is also a human trait to try to blame an event on something or someone. People tend to pass the buck, so to speak. But what does it really achieve. We blame someone for the grief and end up hurting ourselves. At times there may be a valid reason for getting angry as when you know for a fact that someone was negligent. If that person had done things, the way they were supposed to be done in the first place, then the grief may not have happened. But who is to say that. It is very rare that it is so cut and dry, mostly it is a blurred vision. Everyone sees it as they want to, and do not, in their grief, see the other side. There may be a valid point but it gets lost in grief.

When we blame ourselves it is difficult to see the other side, as our side is so personal. The person who blames themselves again could be doing that out of frustration. A doctor who starts questioning himself and his actions, for the death of a patient who died of absolutely normal causes, but the doctor still blames himself. Or take the case of a relative who blames the hospital for the loss even though the relative would have died anyway, and the hospital did everything they could in that situation.

Life is unpredictable. The one we feel is healthy could go in a minute and somebody with an illness could live for ages. So before getting angry we need to really see if it is justified, and then think some more as we could be wrong in our judgments. Grief is normal and unavoidable, but anger is not. A person can work on grief anger and control it if they realize that it is the grief getting the anger. People do strange things in grief anger; sometimes they would even hurt people either inadvertently or with intention.

Grief anger is a very strong emotion that is not easy to overcome. One minute a person is happy and the next he is overpowered by an emotion that he has no power to deal with. That is the reason to get into a group where a person realizes they are not alone. Other people are left facing the same situation and have learnt to control their anger in situations of grief.